September for me has been very tough and I do not know if it’s killing me or making me stronger.

As I was writing about my wins for the month, I was thinking of what to write on this page since I could barely recall a moment from this month which I could consider my greatest win.

Last first of September, I felt such relief after having been vaccinated. It was a good way to start the month, I told myself and since the health crisis is getting scary for real now, it was such a blessing for me to finally get a dose of that vaccine.

Vaccine for me is not just an antidote. It was a representation of hope and security I had prayed for to God since my nature of work requires me to travel from home to anywhere my tasks take me.

So when I finally got a message from the city health task force after almost two months, saying that I was enlisted for vaccination, I really took it as the security provision I was asking God to grant me.

So I went to the venue of vaccination and had my first jab despite the risk posed before me for there were many people in the venue who queued up in hopes of getting themselves vaccinated. There were many of them who walked in and took a chance and never did mind the risk it may bring them in. It was overcrowded. The people metastasized throughout the most of that covered court which really bothered me.

Right after I was vaccinated, I left immediately and went straight to the hospital to catch up with my older sister who accompanied our nanay for her check up on that day. During that time, my nanay has not been feeling well due to stomach pain we did not know where it was coming from.

I was worried sick about my nanay’s condition for she had not been feeling well for days. She could barely eat because of the pain she complained a lot about. If only I could take all the pain, I would. However, I then gathered myself together and decided that I had to be strong and brave enough to get my head around what might happen. How many times I prayed to God for strength and bravery, that I did not know.

We were relieved when we learned that her lab results were all good, but got worried again for her condition did not improve. We waited for two more days and decided after that we had to get her admitted to the hospital. That week was the last part of my vacation and the week after that was the “back-to-work” week in my case. Without any second thought, I volunteered to personally attend to our nanay in the hospital room despite having learned about the hospital protocol that would not allow me to go out of the premises. All my siblings have their own family and children waiting for them too and that alone made me decide to sacrifice.

Days flew. With each passing day, I had a range of emotions I had to feel myself all at once. Ten days seem very fast, but it felt like a month, like a lightyear away from the earth if this will suffice to how I felt being isolated and confined in a cell.

It was tough, I admit. Every minute, I troubled the heaven with my cries of hope and healing prayers and I was more than happy to have seen how my nanay’s condition improved.

At times, we consider God’s love as perfect only when things fall into its right places or to where we wish them to. My greatest win for this month is having learned that God’s love is always perfect even during difficult situations.

God sometimes places us somewhere we can grow. That “somewhere” could be a place filled with either pain and suffering or happiness and pleasure. Either way, you’ll learn and grow.